New study puts parenting into perspective

When the U.S. Census Bureau speaks, I listen - especially when it reports further evidence that the modern woman is turning into the old-fashioned man.

The most recent research to support this trend is that more women are deciding to forgo child-bearing in favor of maintaining their existing quality of life.

It might sound selfish, but anyone who has ever been to a four-star restaurant and has been subjected to a screaming Mimi can understand that there are places children do not belong. With the rise of double-income couples who can afford such child-excluding outings, it shouldn't be surprising that people are examining their reproductive options and wondering what's in it for them.

Traditionally, it has been the province of the male to waffle when faced with the responsibility of bringing up the youth of tomorrow. That isn't to say men have become less reticent about the life-altering prospect of parenthood.

I was reassured of this fact on a visit with married friends whose wives, they say, are pushing for babies.

"I've never been less turned on in my whole life," one of them claims. The idea that, as a married man, he's required to perform a reproductive function unnerves him a little.

It makes sense. Bringing youth into the world can seem like a surefire way to lose the rest of yours.

Whether that's true or not, I can't say because my child-raising experience has been limited to wrestling with feisty 3-year-olds, then slipping away for a nap while their parents clean up the mess.

While sour men may contribute to the growing number of childless women, a bigger reason is options.

The Associated Press reports that the latest numbers reflect the well-established trend of more women going to college and entering the work force, then delaying motherhood or deciding not to have children.

In fact, the number of childless women has reached a record high, according to recent census reports. Nearly 26.7 million women ages 15 to 44 are dismissing or postponing motherhood, a number that has grown nearly 10 percent since 1990, when 24.3 million women did the same.

I bet many of these women simply look at their lives and see no reason to change. They have careers and lifestyles they have carved out for themselves, and no biological urge is going to keep them in on a Saturday night.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. Couples who can agree that their partnership is all they require for personal fulfillment exhibit a tremendous honesty. I personally would rather know a happy childless couple than a miserable couple that spawn like salmon.

While this trend may be disconcerting to some, I'm confident that the human race will continue.

Many of the women I know in their late 20s and early 30s either have babies or are deep into the planning stages.

It's refreshing to know that while their mothers may be pressuring them to have babies, society at large is not.

These days, friends and co-workers have more to worry about than whether other people are getting pregnant. That makes the decision to have children a very personal one-as it should be.

© 2003, The Orlando Sentinel (Fla.).
Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.