By Shari Rudavsky
Knight Ridder Newspapers
(KRT)
Remember that promise you made New Year's Eve?
Chances are you won't a few months from now. New Year's resolutions - to lose weight, to spend less, to stop smoking - seldom make it through the entire new year, experts say.
Six months after Jan. 1, only 46 percent of those who make New Year's resolutions have fulfilled them, says John C. Norcross, a professor of psychology at the University of Scranton who has conducted at least three studies on resolutions in recent years.
"What happens is their resolve becomes a dissolve," says Teddy Tarr, a psychologist with Baptist Health Systems.
If you believe making long-term promises is just too much, you're in the majority. Only about 40 percent of adults still bother making resolutions, Norcross found.
The long haul proves the most difficult. In Norcross' studies, 71 percent of participants kept their resolutions for two weeks, 64 percent for a month and 50 percent for three months.
So, how do the successful make their resolutions stick? No one has a surefire recipe, but experts offer several recommendations for ensuring that resolutions made last night translate into action the whole year long.
_Opt for realistic goals. Don't resolve to run a marathon in February if you've never jogged around the block without stopping. Choosing unattainable goals could translate into almost instant failure.
"Setting realistic goals ... often avoids getting into the trap of all or none," says David Loewenstein, a clinical psychologist at the University of Miami's School of Medicine.
_Endorse your resolutions wholeheartedly. Don't adopt resolutions you think others want you to make. As Craig Badinger, a professional and personal organizer and owner of Chaos to Comfort, tells clients who ask his advice on New Year's goals: "Make a resolution because it's a favor to your own future."
_Set incremental rather than grand-scale goals. Instead of losing 50 pounds, try for 10. Once you meet that first goal, you can make another resolution, building on the first.
_Draw up an action plan for how you will achieve your goals. Include a specific timetable and rewards on your road map for success.
_Customize the goal to your own lifestyle and habits. "Off-the-shelf solutions are generalized solutions and very often they may not be the appropriate one for your quirks and habits," Badinger says.
Other experts recommend you tweak your lifestyle to help make the change. "You have to realize you're going to have to devote extra time and energy in order to make it worth anything," says Larry Kubiak, a psychologist at Tallahassee Memorial Behavioral Health Center, who has written articles on New Year's resolutions.
_Whether or not you choose to show those around you your specific action plan, tell them what you're resolving to accomplish and encourage them to help you.
"The goals that you keep secret are usually the ones that you don't do," says Charles Golden, a professor of psychology at Nova Southeastern University in Davie.
_Share your goals with your spouse or best friend and empower him or her to remind you of your resolution should they see you waver. This will ensure that you do not resolve to lose 10 pounds the same year your spouse or friend resolves to develop the perfect chocolate-chip recipe - with you as No. 1 taster.
While your resolution buddy may not appear to help much in the short term, Norcross' research shows that as time goes on and you weary of your vow, your friend can help you reaffirm your commitment.
_If you don't feel as though you have sufficient support from those around you, you might want to sign on to www.hiaspire.com, a website that's a virtual booster club. You check off your resolutions, type in your e-mail address, and the site will send you periodic reminders with tailored links and articles on your topic.
Started in 1997, the site currently has about 8,000 subscribers, said Troy Surratt, who created it to help people keep their resolutions. Each year an additional 1,000 to 2,000 people sign up for Surratt's free service.
_Give yourself periodic pats on the back. (Obviously if you're trying to stop smoking, don't choose a cigarette as your reward.)
To determine whether you deserve a reward, keep careful track of your progress, with a journal, chart or calendar, experts recommend. Your record will provide testimony for all that you've accomplished and keep you going.
_Avoid rigid resolutions for which a small slip will induce you to call the whole thing off. One lapse does not necessarily equal failure. Norcross has found that successful and unsuccessful resolvers experience the same number of slips in the early weeks - about 1.8 on average.
"Successful resolvers think in the long run. They look at it as a slip, not a fall, and they can recommit themselves to the goal," Norcross says.
_Finally, don't take your resolution too seriously, the experts warn. "Resolutions are goals, they are not absolutes," Golden says. "I think it is important that people take time each year to look at where they are, where they want to be, and how they're going to get it."
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© 2002, The Miami Herald.
Distributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.
